would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
