SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
