I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Randomize
