I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
