I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize