I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
