4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
