HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I got inside last night via doggy door
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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