New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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