I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
