is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
