YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
