Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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