She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
