Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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