fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
