i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Randomize
