he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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