We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
