About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
