Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I need mimosas to revive my soul
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
