you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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