dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
