I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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