If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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