white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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