I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
