Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
