it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
