Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
where am i from again
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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