Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
