I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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