I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize