4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
