I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The power of my boobs compel you
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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