he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
we should paint friendship bongs
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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