We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
