Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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