Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
