Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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