garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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