I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
