I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
