I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
