Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
