he referred to my room as the tit cave...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
