Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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