I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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