Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize