You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
