its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Randomize
