Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
