in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize