I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
