Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
