I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
My liver just had a heart attack.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
