does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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