I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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