They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
