You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
