JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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