I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
