I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
