vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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