If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize