I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
